Since you didn’t ask, this isn’t marriage advice

6/29/2009

Editor’s Notebook
By Woody Woodrick

Dear Ben and Jordan, I guess you’re settling into your apartment and new life as husband and wife. We had a great time at the rehearsal and wedding, and I know you had a great honeymoon trip.

For the past several months, I’ve waited patiently for one or both of you to ask my advice about marriage. I guess in all the hustle and bustle of the wedding plans, you just forgot. Or maybe not. Since you didn’t ask, I’m not going to offer any advice.

For example, I’m not going to tell you, Ben, that it’s a good idea to bring home flowers at times for no special reason.

Jordan, I’m not going to tell you that when you ask Ben what he’s thinking and he responds, “Nothing,” he’s not dodging the question. When guys say they’re not thinking about anything, they really aren’t.

I’m not going to tell you, Jordan, that caps for guys are like shoes for girls. We just like them, and we like a variety of them. We need a cap for all occasions. And we have favorites that get grungy.

Ben, you need deep pockets for your pants. You will need them because when you go out, Jordan isn’t going to want to take a purse, but she’ll need all the stuff in it. So it goes into your pockets. But I’m not going to give you that advice.

Jordan, I’m not going to tell you not to shave your legs with Ben’s razor. It’s a guy thing.

Ben, she’s just going to take longer to get ready to go somewhere. Sit down; watch TV. But you didn’t hear it from me.

I didn’t tell you this, Ben, but you’re just supposed to know what’s wrong – even if you don’t.

Jordan, guys aren’t that subtle and not super perceptive. If something’s wrong, tell him what it is. He really doesn’t know what he did, but I’m not the one to tell you that.

Ben, I’m not going tell you to understand that it’s not enough to do what she wants you to do, but you’re supposed to want to do what she wants you to do and be happy about it – even if it’s during the national championship game.

I’m not telling you, Ben, to play her love songs on the guitar and sometimes go to the ballet with her even when you don’t want to. Jordan, I don’t need to tell you that during the game is not the time to discuss what color to paint the bathroom or suggest a trip to Bed, Bath & Beyond.

You didn’t ask, but find a church you both like – and go together. I’m not going to tell you to pray together and for each other. Maybe do a daily devotional together.

Since you didn’t ask, I’m not going to urge you to keep Christ at the center of your marriage. You already know that.

Finally, Ben, you didn’t ask but I am going to give you one piece of advice: Never, ever, ever on a gift-giving occasion give Jordan something that needs a power cord. She won’t like it even if she’s wanted one all her life. Take my word for it.