A Methodist Preacher's Nightmare

6/17/2008

By Homer Peden

I often think about the vow
That Methodist preachers say:
"I'll gladly go to any place
I'm sent along the way."
To keep this vow inviolate
The truth is sometimes bent,
For a Methodist preacher isn't always glad
To go wherever he's sent.
 
We say:
“I'm glad to go wherever I'm sent.
I'll do the best I can.
I'll visit the sick,
I'll bury the dead,
I'll serve my fellow man."
It's sometimes true we tell a lie
For which we must repent,
For a Methodist has promised to say
He's happy with where he's sent.
 
One night I dreamed I stood before
The Bishop in his lair
And asked of him that I be sent
To First Church anywhere.
The Bishop said," I'm sorry we couldn't
Work something out for you.
We've got you down for Possum Trot.
That's the best that we could do,"
 
And I said,
"I'm glad to go wherever I'm sent,
I'll do the best I can.
I'll visit the sick,
I'll bury the dead,
I'll serve my fellow man."
I knew in my heart I was telling a lie
For which I would have to repent.
But a Methodist Preacher has promised to say
He's happy with where he's sent.
 
Again I dreamed of a fateful day
When I crossed the Golden Strand.
I knocked at the Pearly Gates and asked
To join the Angel Band.
Saint Peter said, "I’m sorry we couldn't
Work something out for you.
We've got you down for that Other Place.
That's the best that we could do."
 
And I said:
“I'm glad to go wherever I'm sent.
I'll do the best I can.
I'll visit the sick,
I'll bury the dead.
I'll serve my fellow man."
Even in Hell I kept my vow,
Although the truth was bent.
For a Methodist preacher has promised to say
He's happy with where he's sent.
 
Peden is a retired clergy member of the Mississippi Annual Conference.